Hi everyone 🙂
Wanted to try something new today. I wanted to share something that is a core part of my life right now so that others may learn from it. It has been about three years now since my weight loss journey began. In today’s post, I will share my story and how it led me to this point. In the next few posts, I will explain how I did it and what worked (or didn’t work) for me.
If you are reading this and thinking “Well I’ve tried and I’ve tried and I just can’t do it!”, then you are not alone. I was there once as well. I never thought I would see happiness or be skinny like everyone else. Nothing is impossible! It can be done if you put your mind to it!
Now to go back to where it all began for me:
Growing up, I learned that emotions were best buried by food. It was an available source of comfort for the constant depression I was feeling, so why not eat the pain away? So I ate and ate and ate, all while enduring the constant criticism from classmates and family alike. The world seemed to have a grudge against me, nothing could ever stop the pain.
Silently, I walked through life, a dead person among the world of the living. Nobody questioned it and nobody cared, really. Looking at the world around me was too much: a throng of people so certain and so problem free. Why couldn’t I be like that? Why did I have to be a quiet soul while no one else did?
After so many years of this struggle, I was forced to go into therapy by my family. I felt uncomfortable forcing my problems into the spotlight when I had trouble making sense of them. I had to endure taking medication after medication, all which did nothing but make me irritable. Needless to say, this didn’t last long. I felt I could manage better on my own.
When adulthood came, I reached my breaking point. I felt like the world was constantly moving while I was standing still. Every day was a battle with the negative. No light could ever enter my soul, for it was stamped out by the depression.
Finally, that one day came. That day everyone hopes for when our luck turns around. This luck came from the help of a kind soul (whose name I will not reveal for privacy reasons).
After losing another battle with depression, I had a nice long chat with him. I don’t know why, but I felt like telling him everything. About my pain, about my depression, about the hatred of the world.
“Why don’t you try working out?” These words sounded like a death sentence.
“I can’t do this, are you crazy?” Was my response. I began weeping, the mere thought of doing this was insanity.
“Just start out slow. Try doing 5 push ups and 5 sit ups.” I just couldn’t move. I sat there for 45 minutes making up excuses as to why I couldn’t do it.
“*sigh* Just do it!” He kept saying. Finally, I worked up the courage. It took me a while, but I eventually managed to do it.
“I’m so proud of you!” He said.
That day changed my life. What once looked insane was the start of something new. I started to exercise every day and changed my eating habits, because I soon learned that I am so worth it. Three years later, I am now 100 pounds lighter and feeling so much better. The depression that once dominated my life is not as constant as it used to be.
Thus concludes my story. Next post, I will explain in more detail about the exercise and eating regimen that work for me. Until then, I hope everyone stays cool and has a great weekend!