What I’m about to post is taken as an inspiration from this post and from the fact that it is Valentine’s Day today. I’m not even entirely sure how to write this, so I will just type and see what happens!
So it’s Valentine’s Day; that day filled with copious amounts of chocolate and flowers. Though chocolate is nice and sweet, it is not a replacement for love.
Romantic love is something I have never understood. I will admit that I have never been in a romantic relationship, so hearing about these relationships confuses me.
Love in its purest form seems to be both refreshing and liberating. It inspires us to reach our greatest heights. Yet, at the same time, love can also hurt. It hurts to see that the one you love made a mistake and caused you so much pain as a result.
I constantly think about what it would be like if I had that special person in my life. Would I be helping them to reach their dreams? What if were to do something wrong? Would I cause them irreversible suffering?
But the reality is, I do not have that, and I do not think it would be realistic to have that. I feel that my issues make being in a relationship counterproductive. I would not wish anyone to suffer these same issues, or the side effects that they would cause.
But enough about romantic love for now. I also wanted to discuss a love that is not human love.
Has there ever been that one creative outlet that you found and just said “Wow, this makes me feel so much better!” whenever you are feeling down? Whether it be that one song you can’t get enough of, or that one movie that makes you bawl your eyes out, I think we all have something like this.
Life, for me, has been one big mass of confusion. I’m not going to lie, I’ve felt the need to give up a lot. I often still feel like no one can or ever will understand me.
But when I was a child, I heard one song and was amazed. I thought: “These guys understand. They KNOW.”
That song was Crawling by Linkin Park. Hearing that song changed my life forever. After that, I finally found an outlet to release my frustrations constructively. Whenever no one was around, I would sing their music, shout at the walls, and release my inner sorrows to the world around me without anyone criticizing my singing 🙂
I still listen to them. Something about their music just mesmerizes me still. The message of each song always resonates with me and helps me to move forward in the difficult days.
It’s still difficult to go forward. But as I always have, I will march on as best as I know how. So if by any chance anyone from LP stumbled upon this little blog, I just wanted to say: Thank you. Thank you for changing my life and helping me to be the best I can be. It means more than words can describe, and you have a fan for life.
I will end with a small poem:
the still life
until the end
of all things coming
the blackbirds humming
to the beat of the cursed
dead end hollow
and true friends swallowed
in the beat
of being myself
So why is it
in this sorrow
there is only
a start and an end
So many varieties
each path will bend
what is the message
that each end brings?
found only guessing
when the morning sun sings.
and see the birth
of melodies everlasting
on this little earth.