Hi everyone. Today I am very angry. I received a humiliating rejection yesterday via e-mail. Let’s just say I had trouble trying to do anything after I read it.
Therefore, I feel I need to get an issue off my chest today.
I’m sick of saying sorry to everyone. I am sick of trying to apologize for who I am and what I do. After yesterday’s rejection, my mind kept wanting to blame myself for not doing a sufficient job. It didn’t immediately cross my mind that it may have been the fault of the author of the e-mail for leaving me in the dark for so long.
We all have some kind of secret. Maybe it is one that your best friend told you on a promise not to share it. Maybe it is something so horrifying that you keep it hidden away in the darkest corners of you mind.
I’ve spent most of my life hiding. Whenever I think about how quiet I am, I cannot help but think that very few people know about me at all. I realize now that I keep the secret of my true self hidden from everyone around me.
Throughout my life, I’ve found myself saying sorry for being me. Sorry for being so indecisive. Sorry for being so quiet. Sorry for trying to do something about it. Sorry for this that and the other thing.
Why should I even have to apologize anymore? I am me, I live life my own way, and I am surviving. It may be different than how you live, but that’s just fine.
Certain people in my life instilled this hatred into me, and I will admit that sometimes I feel that I never want to talk to them again. However, they are family, so I don’t have that option right now.
So if you ever find yourself apologizing, stop and ask yourself if it is really your fault. Don’t ever apologize for being you. Because you are awesome and shouldn’t hide yourself from anyone.
I must bite my tongue here and say sorry to all of you as well. I will not be posting a poem or short story at the end today. I am much too emotional right now and cannot think very rationally.
I hope you all have a great week, and don’t let anger ruin it.