It’s strange because I actually can’t remember most of this week. I think that’s a good thing because that means that nothing significant happened. I’m not here writing about how awful my week was, so that’s a plus 🙂
However, I wanted to base this week’s post on what I said in last week’s post. The main message I wanted to convey was that fear isn’t the final judge of how our life is going to be.
This week I learned that in order to find fulfillment, we must walk through the fear. Yes the fear is a dark and scary place to be, but it must be seen and felt in order to find what it is we are supposed to do.
In a lot of cases, this stems from the idea that we don’t know what other people are thinking of us. We are so afraid that putting our ideas out there is going to cause a negative reaction or that people will think our ideas are “stupid”.
Humanity is by definition imperfect. We were not born to get everything right all the time. Each of our lives is a series of events that leads up to our destiny. Our individual self is based on all these events. The ideas and feelings we generate are uniquely our own. For anyone to be so insecure that they would judge another based on their own feelings and ideas is foolish. We cannot see the full life of another person. We have no idea what they have been through or dealt with.
It is only human to be insecure. However, we cannot find fulfillment by attacking others.
Ultimately, we must first love ourselves before we can fully love others. I know you might be thinking that’s just too difficult. Self love is definitely a journey, but it is so worth the time and effort.
I would be lying if I said I fully loved myself. That inner critic always picks me apart for something. I am slowly realizing that we must embrace the imperfections of ourselves if we want to find self love.
I cannot claim that it is easy. I cannot claim that we won’t stumble along the way, because we all will. However, when we reach the ending, we will be glad we took that risk.
To end off this week post, I wanted to post a story that took place when I was younger. This happened a while ago, so the details may be a little hazy:
When I was in fifth grade, there was one point where the entire grade had to write an essay. I think it was on why drugs are bad or something to that effect.
Being the writer that I am, I whipped out an essay and proudly handed it in. I didn’t expect anything more to come of it.
However, I eventually learned that my essay was one of five or six chosen to be read out loud to students and parents at an event. I was mortified. “I can’t do this!” I lamented to my parents. Everyone kept telling me to practice in front of a mirror, but I couldn’t bring myself to do even that.
Well, the day came. I listened intently to the two other students who read their winning essays before me. When my turn came, I stood in front of the microphone and tried to sound like a normal person who wasn’t afraid of anything. In reality, I was probably reading very fast and no one understood me. About halfway through, I took a deep breath and everyone let out an audible gasp. I think I remember my voice shaking as I read the rest of it. Everyone stood up and clapped for me after. The other students told me that I did such an awesome job and that it must have been hard to do that.
Truth be told, I had forgotten about this story until now. May it serve as my reminder that fear is only a construct of the mind. Getting through the fear is what life is really about.