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Hi everyone! I hope everyone is having a wonderful week 🙂

I was excited to log on today and see that Dungeon Prompts is back! This week’s prompt asks us to explain our own concept of God.

I will be the first to admit that I am still struggling with my spirituality. I know it’s there and I know I feel like something is calling out to me, but I’m not sure I entirely understand who or what it is.

During my childhood, I was raised to believe in Christianity. I always questioned why I have to go to church. I didn’t really see a purpose to any of it. I felt like I was there because my parents dragged me there.

For a while, I turned away from spirituality all together. I felt okay with this. I didn’t miss going to church. I felt that in order to find my path in life I had to do it in my own way, not by following the doctrines of others.

At some point, I think it was in 2012 or 2013, I felt something gnawing at me. I felt like something was missing. I felt like I was getting divine guidance to do specific things. Certain messages crossed my mind that I was convinced must be of divine origins. Eventually, I took up meditating to try and make sense of it all. I am now convinced that it must be a higher power reaching out to me.

Based on my Christian upbringing, my mind wants to call this higher power “God”. However, I don’t want to call it God because I feel that doing so would mean that I am conforming to one religion.

I want to be open minded. I don’t want to say that one religion is absolutely correct and all others are incorrect, because that isn’t something a human mind can know.

A common interpretation of God seems to be that he is a being that lives in the sky and watches over everyone. I feel that definition is severely lacking. To me, what others call God isn’t something that can be seen directly. God is inside us. All people are connected. It is our goodness that people notice first. Even if someone isn’t religious, that person can go on to do great things.

The fact that we are who we are and that we do what we do is remarkable. The fact that there is such balance and harmony in all things is miraculous.

Many people may look at a specific aspect of life and label it “blasphemous” or “an abomination to <insert deity/deities here>”.

Was not everything created for a reason? It is a harsh world we live in. We must learn to put aside differences and help each other. Everyone has to struggle at some point in their life. Let us not pass judgment one way or the other.

God is best explained through feelings. If we are angry, do we lash out or do we let it go? If we want revenge, do we seek it or do we let it be? If we get a specific feeling to do something, do we act on it?

That’s all I’ve got for this week. I hope that everyone reading will realize that just because we are comfortable with how we live our lives doesn’t mean that someone else would be. We must respect the decisions of others to live life in their own way.

I wrote the following poem last week after visiting a relative in the hospital. It compliments this post well I think:

How can I
correct these mistakes
When I am faced with
Such high stakes

Going home
was never so hard
going nowhere
I let down my guard

Stop feeding me
irrational fears
All I can feel
Are my pathetic tears

Waves of blue
dead and grey
cannot take
this reality away

I am broken
waiting again
for all the answers
so life can begin

When I awaken
my soul will stream
into consciousness
or so it seems

Was it forgotten
or simply forgiven
when the new path opened
and I crossed over?
or maybe it was that
the world grew colder?

Don’t worry
wash it all away
and stop being sorry
because yesterday’s trauma
is over
today.

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