I will admit, I had trouble coming up with a post again this week. So the idea popped into my head to take the first few words of a blog post from a blog I follow and go from there. The first two words happened to be “five years”.
Looking backwards in years always scares me. Trips down memory lane involve nothing but painful memories and missed opportunities for me.
Five years ago, I was a freshman in college. I don’t think I really had any high hopes or grandiose ideas back then. I just went that route because my parents forced me to and I felt like I had no other options.
So I trudged through it, wishing and hoping that everything would change. I desperately wanted things to change, but of course, I did not act on these desires.
I look at all that I’ve accomplished today and I don’t even feel like the same person. Ideas of school and finals all seem like such a distant memory now.
Change is funny like that I suppose. It likes to come when we least expect it and when we are least prepared for it. However, this change is always meant to send us in some unknown direction which is ultimately correct.
I spend a lot of time asking myself whether something is correct. “Did I take the correct approach?” “Did I say the right thing?” “Did I do something wrong?”
This approach only slows me down. The best solution is always just to let it go. I know I say this as if it is easy. I know it usually takes a lifetime to truly let it all go. However, the more time we spend thinking about mistakes and worries, the more they consume us.
Five years ago, I never would have been typing this post. I still am the same lost person drifting through life in search for answers. However, there is a difference somewhere, even if it is small.
Five years ago, that voice in my head would have told me that I’m not trying hard enough because I didn’t do work and school at the same time. I am always trying to reassure myself that I am trying my best. It doesn’t always work…
So I guess my ultimate point is that we all change. Five years might seem like a short span of time, but a lot occurs in that short period.
When we are trying our best, we are doing the best we can do. We should not be ashamed for not doing what we perceive to be better.
So this week, I hope you don’t stress out over crazy weather, holiday shopping, or the stress of everyday life. Because life is way too short to be stressed.
I will end my post by posting a poem I typed up super quick. Have a great week everyone!
Five years ago
is a person we don’t know
Because only the cold
would make one so old
black and white
a constant fight
when the children make way
for another dawning day
When can we be
free to believe
that the ghosts will dissolve
in the face of human resolve
Do we really care
what lies over there
beyond our constant stare
Are we getting anywhere?