I know my post comes two days late. It’s simply been too busy a weekend to have time to sit down until now!
Lately, I have felt as if all of my courage that I may have had once has been sapped away.
I feel as if every time I speak words, they are immediately attacked or criticized. The fear of speaking has become so dominant that I’ve been doing my best to remain silent, even though deep down I know that this is only hurting me.
Every time my minds scrambles to find a solution, one cannot be found. And so, I must truck on like I always have. I’m sure I’ll find a solution sometime, but waiting is always so hard.
I will admit, I have always felt that courage is something that we have or do not have. I’ve always looked at stories of people doing heroic deeds and thought “This person must have a lot of courage,” as if courage was a trait they were born with.
But I think the truth is that courage is something we all find at some point in our lives. It doesn’t suddenly just surface when we want it to. It comes out when we are the most afraid. We act through this fear even though we know it might defeat us. And usually we end up winning!
We tend to be more courageous than we think we are. I must keep reminding myself that everything always has a way of working out, even if it takes a while.
My attempts to find this lost courage in my own life is not going well so far. I wouldn’t even know where to begin.
But I am not giving up hope. I know that there is a solution, even if I don’t know what it is yet. And perhaps that is where courage stems from: the refusal to give up hope.
Well I know that this post is short, but that’s about it for this week.
Have a great week everyone!
Here’s my final parting poem for the week:
under the fire
is a desire
burning so hot
all I’ve got
this is not love
or even lust
it’s just another
breach of trust
not of man
or of woman
the ashes still stand
as they demand
their rightful place
in the master plan
but this cannot be
as the lost soul decrees
restoration of it’s reflection
to it’s previous perfection