I had a very interesting and intense experience earlier this week. I have to post this, even though I might get a bunch of odd stares for doing so.
Behind my house, there is a river. One has to go down a steep hill in order to reach this river. In my 15 or so years of living here, I have only made that trek maybe once or twice to go rescue my dog from getting into trouble.
Earlier this week, I felt a strange feeling urging me to make that trek to the river. Immediately I felt a sense of paranoia wash over me: “Will anyone see me? What will they think if they see me? Everyone is going to think I’m insane.”
A sense of adventure took me over. I just had to go down there.
So I put on my snow gear and wandered outside at a moment when no one would have seen me. I had to walk across my yard, which was covered in hard packed snow up to my knees. Then I had to figure out a way to get down that hill.
I walked carefully, making sure I could find my footing in the snow. Fortunately for me, a lot of trees were in my path. I heavily leaned on them for support. Eventually, I got to a point where I just sat in the snow and slid down.
I was taken away by the sheer beauty of it all. I had to hold back tears more than once. I felt as if I was in a place in which time had no meaning.
I walked around for a while, wandering to things that caught my eye. I found a pottery shard of some kind in the water, so I put this in my pocket to bring back with me.
About half of the river was frozen over, and a small clearing in the ice on the other side immediately caught my eye. I waded through knee deep water to get to the shelf of ice. I had to climb up and carefully find my footing. I walked slowly, as I heard the ice crunching beneath me.
I eventually made my way to my destination. There was a rocky area which was not frozen in front of the ice hole, so I sat down there.
And I just sat and observed. I watched the river. I remember thinking how playful the river looked swirling around near the ice.
I remember thinking how any speech would have ruined the moment, so I began telling the river of some deeper issues I was concerned about that I had no answers for.
She began responding to my questions, and she sounded very eager to do so!
We talked for a while, and she ended up teaching me two very important lessons:
1. I have to learn how to listen to myself.
2. In order to move forward, I must go on without caring about what others think. I remember thinking that I must be like a river and be calm and graceful, flowing forward without fear of hiding myself.
I was shocked that she was so eager to help me and that she was so kind to me. She asked me to come back to see her again in the future more than once. I think that I will go there again, perhaps in the Spring.
When we finished talking, I gave her a strand of my hair. She appeared to be playing with it before I lost sight of it.
After this experience happened, I had a wave of happiness wash over me that lasted the rest of the day. That was the best I ever remember feeling.
I learned a lot that day. In the near future, I will be sure to spend more time not just by the river, but in nature in general.
Thanks for reading everyone. Have a great week!