Hello everyone! Hope everyone is having a glorious day and a wonderful week.
For most of my adult life, I’ve been struggling with addiction: Not to food, alcohol, or drugs, but to something else…
I’m addicted to coffee. When I’m at my most stressed or when I’m cold, I just instinctively grab a cup of coffee to make me feel better. Before you know it, one cup turns into five or six cups. Getting free coffee at my work place doesn’t help either.
“Oh, but that doesn’t sound unusual at all,” some might say. “What’s wrong with that?”
There’s a lot wrong with it for me. Chugging coffee all day greatly increased my anxiety to the point where I always felt like I was going to have a panic attack at any given moment. I got extremely irritable at small things and had to suppress the urge to start screaming at the nearest person for it. I always had to grab my last cup of coffee at night to make myself feel better. My sleep began to suffer for it.
The final straw was when my skin began to get red patches on it. It was all over my arms and super itchy. There were times when I just couldn’t stop itching it. Every lotion I tried didn’t help much. Sometimes it was so bad that it was causing me physical pain and I wanted to keel over.
I’ve tried time and time again to just cut out the coffee. I always try to quit cold turkey because that’s the only way in my mind. But it never ends up working. I always see someone making coffee or drinking coffee and I just want some.
I’m currently trying again. It’s been about a week now. I’m trying to drink more tea and more water. I like to spruce it up by adding honey and lemon. My current problem is that I just don’t have the patience to wait for the tea to cool off and I just end up thinking about coffee. I’m not partial to the taste of most tea either.
I’m hoping that this “try again” phase is the last time I have to try beating my addiction. Coffee just robbed my motivation to do anything and I was suffering from it. My hope is that someday I cut off caffeine completely and replace it with something healthier, but that’s a long way away.
On a happier note, my motivation to do some of the activities I used to enjoy is returning slowly. I feel like my life can only go in a positive direction right now, and that’s a great feeling, and I can’t remember the last time I felt that.
That’s about all I have to report this week. Have a great week everyone 🙂