Hi everyone. To be honest with you, I’m wasn’t even sure to go with this week’s post. I made this video a few days ago and wasn’t entirely sure what to expect.
I showed this video to my family because I wanted them to see it. The results were not what I was expecting.
All the responses I received were something along the lines of “Your Dad is just doing the best he can to support you. You should thank him and tell him you love him.”
I cannot accept that answer. It physically pains me. I have so much trouble revealing my feelings to people, especially family, because they always make me feel like I am doing something wrong or that I am a failure.
I feel like I am screwed up because of the effect my family has on me. I believe that my family doesn’t understand the idea of “think before you speak”. I feel that they don’t understand that their words often hurt me.
Which leads me to the point of this post. Parents, please choose your words carefully when speaking to your children. It is so easy to say something you will regret. Your children will carry negative comments with them forever.
Let your children know what they are doing right. Picking them apart for their flaws and not giving any positive feedback will scar a child for life.
Also, I get the feeling that a lot of parents will yell at a child for not being the way the parent wants them to be. Last I checked, there isn’t a set way a child is supposed to be. Your child is not you. Let him/her go his/her own way. Let them explore. Let them be good at what they want to be good at. Don’t try to hinder the creative process, because it will backfire.
To be honest, I often struggle with the idea of having children of my own in the future. I am legitimately afraid that I would do something accidental to hurt a child in a permanent way. That idea doesn’t sit well with me. I wouldn’t want to put a child through that.
If we let time run it’s course, everything will make sense, I imagine. Life has a way of smoothing out all the bumps over time, even if it doesn’t seem like it.
To end my post this week, I will post a short story I wrote.
There is something to be said about the unknown. For most, people turn away, afraid of the infinite sway it may have on their lives.
Yet, for others, they cling to the unknown as if it were at risk of being lost. They wear it like a blanket, unable to fathom a life of knowing which direction to go.
And then there were the in-betweens. They go forth because they must, well aware of what they face, even though they are weary of what they might find beyond.
The in-betweens, unable to find solace amongst their fellow brethren, assigned themselves to a life of isolation, to save their souls from being shredded apart from the pain of criticism and failure.
And it was here in isolation that young Paul sat, unable to move away from the comforts of a room full of no living life. All shades were drawn, and small specs of sunlight peeped in, decorating the walls with pretenses of hope.
Though no other living soul graced the room, Paul felt as if he was being judged. Invisible eyes of past memories clouded his mind, cascading him with a torrent of harsh words and invalid assumptions. As much as he willed for them to go away, they remained, stuck in a permanent position inside him.
It was during this perilous moment that someone began knocking at his door.
“Go away!” he immediately thought. The idea of summoning the strength needed to face this other soul was beyond his power.
“No one’s home,” he actually said. He had hoped this would be the end of the noise, the end of the persistent summons, and that he could go back to something else.
Instead, the knocking only increased in frequency. He began silently weeping when his realization came crashing down. He would have to answer. He would have to face his deepest fears and talk to the person on the other side.
He struggled to fathom as to whom it could be. His mother? A former friend? A neighbor doing a courtesy check? Why anyone would have cared about a life who wasn’t alive was beyond him.
“Paul?” a female voice said.
Her voice sent his mind into a state of calm. It was indeed a former friend. They had shared a long life of friendship together, until Paul chose to isolate himself away for good. In his line of thinking, it was for her own protection. He could not bear to think of inflicting any other with his presence, even hers who he cherished so dearly.
“Paul, let me in, please!” Her voice became more urgent, and she sounded as if she was on the verge of tears.
Paul shook his head, trying to will the tears to go away. Every fiber of his being wanted to see her, but he simply sat, dumbfounded, deciding what to do.
“Paul. Please. Don’t leave me behind,” she sniffled. “I would never hurt you.” She heard the doorknob turning as she attempted to open the door. He knew it would never open, for he would never let any stray souls wander in.
However, it did open. He cursed his carelessness as he saw her run over to him. She didn’t say another word, she simply hugged him as tears ran down her face.
Past memories came flooding back, but this time he welcomed them. They were of the two of them cherishing every moment together. Paul smiled.